To brighten up your grey Saturday morning, here are some silly estate agent jokes
Windows
Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning? Because otherwise they’d have nothing to do in the afternoon
Flowers
An estate agent thoughtfully sent his customary bunch of flowers to a purchaser who has just moved in. Unfortunately, they arrived with a card saying ‘Rest in Peace’.
Furious, the recipient phoned the florist, who replied: “I’m really sorry for the mistake, Madam. But just think – there’s a funeral taking place today with some flowers on the coffin where the message reads: “We wish you happiness in your new home”.
Beat the competition
An estate agent broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read ‘BEST ESTATE AGENTS.’
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading ‘LOWEST COMMISSIONS.’
The estate agent panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own office. It read: ‘MAIN ENTRANCE’
Porsche
An estate agent parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he’s getting out of the car, a truck comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off.
More than a little distraught, the estate agent grabs his mobile and calls the police. Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the estate agent starts screaming hysterically:
“My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined, it’ll simply never
be the same again!”
After the estate agent finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: “I can’t believe how materialistic you estate agents are,”
“You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else in your life.”
“How can you say such a thing at a time like this?”, snaps the estate agent.
The policeman replies, “Didn’t you realise that your right arm was torn off when the truck hit you.” The estate agent looks down in absolute horror……….
“Oh my God!” he screams – “Where’s my Rolex?!”
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